My New Blog

As it has been foretold, I have brought forth a blog and now present it to you, my beloved humans, as an enduring communication from Heaven to Earth. No longer must you ponder my silence and fear that I’m only in your imagination. You can read my actual words right here. There’s no need for religious disputes in areas that I didn’t make entirely clear in the Bible. I can answer all of your questions so you can live at peace with your fellow Christian.

Some of my brilliant ideas can’t be contained in Twitter’s 140 character limit. This webpage will set me free from that restriction (not that I couldn’t miraculously make tweets longer than 140 characters). I’ll still use Twitter as my main mode of communication, but I’ll link to this blog when I have something more to say.

Welcome one and all. Please add this site to your bookmarks, subscribe to the RSS feed, make it your home page, tell your friends, print it off and hang it on your fridge. This webspace is holy. You are welcome to leave comments telling me how awesome I am. It’s one of my favorite topics.

5 responses to this post.

  1. Great! Just because I believe in a great Universal Power doesn’t mean I believe in Hell. I think Quantum Physics coupled with electromagnetic energy plus individuality = God. (simplified version)
    That being said, your conversation with the christian is typical. When they ended it with the Hell comment, you should have told them thanks for the invite but I’ll go where I please!

    Reply

  2. Posted by Kaif on July 3, 2009 at 12:57 am

    Dear Almighty God,
    Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to keep this blog. I really should take that thank you back, because well, nothing is impossible for you, so rather, why did it take you so long to do this? what took you so long?
    1) What’s up with such wishy-washy contradictory ‘revelations’ through the ages? Couldn’t you be a little more clear and more specific?
    2) Why give us a brain only to ask us to use faith?
    3) What did you do to piss off Lucifer so bad? Could you not give him the needed attention/affection that he needed? You are not really setting a good fatherly example.
    4) Why tell us not to kill, but make exception if killing infidels/sinful people?
    5) Why play the mind game with Abraham, you know where you tell him to kill his son, just to see what he will do?
    6) Umm….your daughter Mary and your son Jesus are a bit problematic for me, why the father-daughter thang? why not just create Jesus from scratch like you did with Adam
    7) What happened to Lillith?

    Reply

    • 1. Shaddæj means Wreckey, not Almihty. His son, J·hveh, is a verb in the imperfect tense.
      2. So we don’t become as gods.
      3. Lucifer is the planèt Venus (morning star), not a person. The Qhibirijt nickname (I forgot) was of a prince who was always on Earth. The evil heralds and fall from heaven came from Zarathrusti.
      4. murder, not kill—don’t read 1500-1600 versions; but he does both.
      5. plot hole
      6. Scratch can’t save mankind. But Moshè knew there was no perpetual sin so there was no need.
      7. Wife of Tsàm-el (nick of Shaddæj and J·hveh), livs in wastelands, brings birth defects.

      Reply

  3. I work in mysterious ways.

    Reply

  4. Posted by Francois on September 22, 2009 at 12:32 pm

    Love you god!!! Licky licky…

    Reply

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