I Repent of My Blasphemy

God has begun to soften my heart. I made this blog and the Twitter account @almightygod because I was angry with God. I see that now. Over the last couple of years I have committed foul acts of blasphemy, defaming the name of our Lord by speaking as him and by attributing to him my own cynicism, laziness, absence and malice.

But then I saw this movie: Finger of God. Warning: Don’t watch this movie if you’re not prepared to have your life changed. It has proven to me beyond the shadow of a doubt that God is real and is acting in the world today. I always knew it deep down, but Satan had hardened my heart and blinded me to God’s love. If God can give golden teeth to these people, he can give me a golden heart.

I will begin to make amends. I intend to delete all of my blasphemous tweets and posts, but first I must go back to every person I’ve interacted with and try to undo some of the damage I’ve done. I’ll explain where I was wrong and give them my testimony about how God has changed me. This Sunday I’ll be at my local Assembly of God church praying earnestly to receive the anointing of the Holy Spirit.

I also pray that you will forgive me and that you’ll watch the movie I linked to above with an open heart and a desire to know the majesty of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. May He bless you as He’s blessed me.

1 Corinthians 1:18-19
Psalm 14:1

12 responses to this post.

  1. dare I call April Fools?

    Reply

  2. This is the perfect day for such a terrific announcement. If you can be converted, then perhaps I am also blinded by my own arrogance. I will begin rereading the bible today, with an open mind.

    THANK YOU!!!

    Reply

  3. I hope like hell this a perverted April Fool’s joke

    Reply

  4. Posted by axeonos on April 1, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    this caught me off guard. though very good joke. i did laugh. thanks ^^

    Reply

  5. You had me for a second back there. Ahaha. Aah, sky faeries. LOL.

    Reply

  6. You forgot Matt 5:22.

    Reply

  7. Posted by odaglas on April 2, 2010 at 7:19 am

    i was like NOOOOOOOOOO and then i was like oh wait, april 1st.

    Reply

  8. Posted by Aristotle Stoli on April 2, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    Very good, you had me for a minute…actually I was about to delete you from my twitter when I realized that it was a joke…wasn’t it?

    Maybe you did see the light! Maybe you know something that I do not! if you can do it…so can I!

    I want to repent also!! I am going to church everyday! I am……aww screw it, i’ll just fix another drink…The only lord I can worship is the Lord Calvert!

    Reply

  9. Posted by Joseph on May 2, 2010 at 9:56 pm

    It’s about time you blaspheming faggot. I’m glad that you got your Jew dick out of the Muslim ass you were fucking and became a respectable human being.

    Reply

  10. This touched my heart! & I wanted to share this with you… from my blog to yours
    This life’s lesson:

    AND WHAT, EXACTLY, IS LOVE?
    [I could tell you, but it doesn’t mean a thing until you truly…]
    Learn that

    Love is innocence and trust.
    Love is patience and forgiveness.
    Love is awareness and feeling.
    Love is devotion and freedom.
    Love is ecstasy and humility.
    Love is pure and fulfillment.
    Love is beauty and harmony.
    Love is passion and surrender.
    Love is honesty and loyalty.
    Love is wise and unselfish.
    Love is oneness and tolerance.
    Love is compassion and love is ALL.

    to realize at last that LOVE IS ETERNAL.

    God is ETERNAL. God is LOVE. LOVE is ETERNAL. Everything else is not. Plain & Simple.

    Reply

  11. Dear Almighty God,

    You didn’t believe in yourself? My, you do have low self-esteem. Perhaps it was all that smiting you did in your early days, back when you wanted blood smeared on the horns of your altars. Wait, what? Your altars had horns… isn’t that a bit, well, Pagan? Tut tut.

    Still and all, you know, if God can’t blaspheme against religion, then who can? After all, you’re the greatest, right? (Actually that’s me, but let’s not quibble over detail.)

    Reply

  12. Posted by bakedpotatoes on August 31, 2010 at 9:31 am

    Hurr hurr at people who don’t read.

    Reply

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